The goncalo amaral version!
So, this is what the press, via goncalo amaral’s internet stoolpigeons, are telling us. Picture the scene. The tapas bar, early evening. Kate arrives a little late, looking flustered.
Jane looks up. “What’s the matter, Kate? You look proper peeved!”
Kate, “Oh I just accidentally killed one of the kids, had to clear up the mess. You know how it is.”
Jane answers “Bummer, and after all the hassle you went through with that IVF clinic too.”
Kate continues, “I could do with some help. I hid the body temporaraly, but we’ll have to move it later. You know how some people can be a bit nosy. Don’t understand how these things can happen.”
Jane says, “Of course, only too happy. We’ll help in any way we can. Shall we go do it now?”
Kate, “Oh no, no hurry, we’ve time to finish this bottle of wine first”
Jane, “OK, mind you, we’ll have to put on a bit of a show for the natives. How good are you at acting, Kate?”
Kate, “Oh I did a bit of amateur dramatics at Uni, I can turn on the water works at the drop of a hat y’know!”
Jane. “Right, lets all pretend Madeleine has been abducted. That should keep them guessing for a while!”
Kate. “Great idea! They’ll all fall for that! Then, while the whole world is watching we’ll move the body in a couple of weeks, in full view of press and public.”
Jane. “Won’t she be a bit smelly by then?”
Kate. “Oh no, I’ll use some sort of air freshener.”
Jane. “How about if I pretend to see someone with a child in a blanket, just to add a bit of spice to the story? With a bit of luck we can spin this out for months if we all stick to our story.”
Farcical, isn’t it? But that’s what goncalo amaral want us to believe. Well sorry Mr useless Portuguese policeman amaral, I may only have a basic secondary modern education but I am not stupid enough to fall for that load of old guff.